How To Consciously Navigate Attractions

So you're in a monogamous, committed relationship, you love your partner, you want to be with them....AND.....You find yourself attracted to someone else. 

The attraction is there - it's real - AND your love and commitment to your partner is there - it's real. 

How do you consciously, lovingly, authentically navigate this situation?

The truth is, ALL of us have many attractions throughout the course of our lives. It's human nature. We are social creatures and, from an evolutionary standpoint, our multiple attractions are a key to the survival of the species. 

But what about NOW? There are 7.6 billion of us humans on the planet. Humankind is surviving. Thriving. Overpopulating the earth. 

So, at this point, we have the opportunity to be more discerning in our attractions. If we look closely, the depth and quality of our attractions varies greatly. Some are fleeting, highly sexual attractions. Some feel like an instantaneous emotional bond. Some are intellectual attractions that grow over time spent together. With so many different kinds of attractions, how do we know which ones to pay attention to, and what to do in response to them?

Look for the truth that underlies the attraction. Notice your mindset around it. Explore why you are attracted to this person, what it is you desire. 

Pay attention to the attractions that support you in being your most authentic self. Those that bring you personal fulfillment. Those that inspire your creative expression. Those that make you feel happy and alive! Those attractions have the potential benefit all beings. Those attractions are there to accelerate the evolution of humanity, to create more love and deeper connections.

Notice if this attraction is exclusive or inclusive. Do you want to spend time alone with this person or do you want to integrate them into your life? If you feel exclusive in your attraction, it's probably just for you, not for the world. That kind of attraction can be fun and beautiful in its own way but if you are committed to your partner, it will likely bring conflict to your relationship. Focus on the inclusivity, if it exists. How can you involve your partner (and the world) in this attraction? How can you use the fuel of this attraction to benefit beings and planet earth? 

Communicate with your partner. Lovingly, harmlessly share your truth with your partner. Ask for their thoughts and feelings, and honor their level of comfort. Sometimes they won't be comfortable. Sometimes they will. If you are open and clear about where you stand, you can more easily make a decision together about how to proceed. 

Honor the attraction. If this attraction is in alignment with your authentic expression, honor it! Bring this person into your life in whatever way feels comfortable and aligned for you and your partner. Keep the communication open, keep the truth flowing, keep the love alive.  

To your Conscious Attractions,